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Ah yes, July. A time for 4th of July fireworks, bubbly drinks by the beach and – breakups?
It might be, at least in the land of Celebrity Splitsville™️. Ariana Grande and husband Dalton Gomez are rumored to be getting married, as are Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello. Elsewhere, Bravo stars Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky have confirmed difficulties in their decades-long marriage.
It can be trying when those around you won’t stop speculating about your relationship status. This difficulty is magnified for celebrities, who see the ups and downs of their relationships become the subject of international news headlines and social media trends.
So it makes sense for celebrities — and really anyone — to try to control the narrative about their relationship status, experts say. Even if this narrative is simply an insistence that it is nobody’s business but the couple’s.
“If the divorce or separation is amicable, the old axiom … (it’s) none of your business,” says Laura Petiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Let other people think what they want. .”
‘Separations from the public are difficult’
The age of social media has made it nearly impossible for anyone who regularly uses these platforms to keep their relationship status hidden for long. An Instagram story here, a sneaky post there. Those in the public eye naturally carefully curate exactly what they want their followers to know.
But followers of celebrities and non-celebs alike often dive deep into Instagram to distract themselves from their lives. When did they stop posting pictures together? When was the last time she commented on his post? Is he still wearing a ring?
“Separations from the public are difficult and involve careful management,” says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Louis University. Mary in Canada. “The best approach is to be professional and make a statement – whether it’s just to friends by word of mouth, on social media or around the family dinner table. No explanation is needed and indeed if someone were to speak ill of a recent ex-partner it would potentially cause further problems.”
Our current age of celebrity social media makes fans feel like they know these celebrities – what’s called a pre-social relationship – which means many will empathize with the couple in question, barring some sort of cheating scandal where one pair can be burned at the metaphorical stake.
“We’re much more accepting of the personal challenges celebrities face and even embrace them when they’re open about their weaknesses,” Petiford says.
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How to break up (carefully) in the public eye
- Remember that only you and your partner will know the full story. “You can try to quell the speculation, you can try to get ahead of the questions, you can try to answer all the questions … but at the end of the day, only you have the full context, no matter how many you choose. to share with others,” says dating and relationship coach Ali Jackson.
- Set boundaries and gather your support system. Be clear about what you want there and what you don’t. “Having boundaries and having a private life becomes a really important part of having a very healthy overall well-being, being able to have both personal boundaries that you can control, and then to identify a really healthy social support,” adds TM Robinson-Mosley, consultant. psychologist.
- Sit down with the most important players first. “If the separation is contentious, it can be important for members of a couple to give a discreet explanation to friends who are closest,” Petiford says. “Friends apparently care about friends, and to that end they have a legitimate interest in how a longtime couple can get through such a challenging time.”
- Be direct. “If people won’t stop talking about the previous relationship, one approach is to point out — directly — that it’s over and it’s time to move on,” says Fisher.
- Be prepared for questions. In one’s personal life, questions can arise as people consider which side they plan to take in a breakup. After all, there can be little control for celebrities to sway legions of fans one way or another without digging themselves into a drama-filled pit. Plus: “If I were to advise those wondering, it’s best to reach out in person if they really care,” says Fisher. “Otherwise, keep those motives in check – why should you know? Is it just being loud or is there real concern?”
- If you are friends with the couple, offer support. Pettiford adds, “Do your best to stay out of the way and remember that there are always at least two sides to every breakup story.”
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